Dragonball Zell
by Vincent Loneheart
Summary: A FF8 character in the FF7 world battling a DBZ character. Sounds fun eh? =P
1. Default Chapter

Dragonball Zell-  
By Vincent Loneheart  
  
Dragon Dragon,  
Rock the Dragon,  
Dragonball Zell!!!  
  
It was just another day in Balamb Garden for Zell Dincht (Let's face it, all my stories start either like this, or with dialogue. Must find something new...). He had woken up at 6:30 in his dorm, and by 7:00 he had showered, gotten changed into his new favourite shirt, a pink fleece... "Damn, really shouldn't have lied to her ya know. Errr, really shouldn't have lied. Now she expects me to wear this, this thing day and night!" Anyway, as I was saying...he had had his usual two bowls of Cap'n Crunch, and was on his way to the training center to have his morning workout before classes began at 9.  
As usual, he began training in espionage outside the parking lot as he saw his girlfriend, Ms Library-Girl-With-Pigtail. Hiding behind the plants, he watched her talking to Xu. She then made an unexpected left. Not too unexpected, for it had happened several times in the past. Diving into the pool he swan two metres, knowing then that he had to stop to avoid hitting the sides, for he had learned from his mistakes! Peering from just over the side, he saw her only three metres away, stopping to tie her shoelace. Being a guy, he couldn't resist looking at a girl bending over in those Balamb Garden 'skirts'. This move caused him to go too far over the side and he crashed down onto the main hall floor. "Zell!!!"  
"Erm..."  
"Awww Zell, you got up and came to see meeeee!!!"  
"Uh, yeah..."  
"Awww, and you wore the sweater I gave you!!!"  
"Don't I always?"  
"YOU GOT IT ALL WET!!!!"  
"Wha!?"  
"I can't believe you Zell Dincht! First you wake up two hours before you have to to come and see me, then you ruin it all by doing this! It's soaked through!"  
"I...can explain..."  
"I don't want to hear it! Come on, we're going to get that dry cleaned immediately before it gets bobbles."  
"Yes..."  
An hour later he was able to return to his dorm to get a new shirt. This time he got his lucky red one. Library-Girl-With-Pigtail had insisted upon leaving the laundry for her to do, so he was clear to get in that morning workout. Feeling depressed at losing out on a whole hour, he perked up at realising that he had a whole days reprieve from wearing THAT sweater! So he skipped all the way to the training center. "Where's the sweater Zell?" Nida shouted as he passed by.  
"Smoke you Nida!" Zell shouted back. Zell had become the victim of some vile abuse due to that sweater. Even the junior classmen had lost all respect for him. Any retort he had had in the past to explain away the usage of such a foul piece of clothing had withered away into a counter-insult.  
Standing outside the training center he took a look at his watch. He now had only half an hour to get inside, bust up some monsters and get out, for the other half-hour was normally spent going back to his dorm to shower again. Library-Girl-With-Pigtail will not touch him otherwise. He pulled his Erghiez on tighter around his fists, and readied to do battle the minute he walked through the door. Pushing aside the large steel barriers which separated the students and the beasts, he looked for his first opposition. Finding none within his immediate vicinity, he ran across the makeshift bridges and over towards the secret area. Still finding no monsters to fight against, he headed to the exit, in case they had all bunched together. Upon reaching the exit, he had still not caught sight of a single monster. not one T-Rexaur or Grat. Not even the new Bite Bugs which Cid had brought in were found anywhere. "I am sooo gonna complain about this later! I mean, three minutes! You can't run through here in three minutes! It's not right!!!" Seeing that he still had plenty of time to get back, and that he wouldn't be needing that shower now, he decided to make the most of it and go into the secret area to do his favourite thing, scribbling 'Saifuu was 'ere' and 'Squiefer did it in this spot' all over the walls.  
Walking up the ramp and out of the dimly-lighted training center, he entered the balcony, known as 'The Secret Area'. Seeing no-one around here either was a relief, as some couples managed to sneak away and spend whole nights here under the moon and the stars. Stilling somewhat frustrated, he lay down on a soft area which was normally used by such couples. This area, although being a place to escape the rules and regulations of Garden, still had unwritten rules which were followed by the students. 'No sexual activity' being one of them, like 'No smoking' and 'No writing on the walls'. Zell happily forgot the existence of the last one, as no-one had found out it was he that was doing all of it yet, despite the fact that a lot of it read 'Seifer is pants. Zell rules. Hella yeah!!!'  
Under the morning sun Zell closed his eyes and forgot about everything. The disappointment of the morning, from getting caught by Library-Girl-With-Pigtail to having no action in the training center really left him not in the mood for anything at all. He had to listen to that annoying piece music 'Fear' for no reason! When he opened his eyes he saw bright light. It was not the sun however, it was something else, something directly atop of him. Quickly rolling to his side he stood up, and looked upon the small yellow sphere that was just hovering in the air, giving off light. It was hard to look at it, but Zell found himself compounded to try and get closer. His hand reached out to try to touch it...  
As his hand touched it, the light engulfed the whole room, and Zell suddenly found himself standing in a place which was unfamiliar to him. It looked almost like this mountain path that he had saw once while playing some computer game called Final Fantasy 7. It felt windy and he immediately pulled his jacket closer around his body. Looking into the distance he saw a huge crater. Looking behind him, he saw a lot of snow. Knowing that he couldn't hang about, he looked at his clothes and realised that it wasn't quite the most insulated outfit he'd ever worn. He hated being in Trabia, but that looked even worse, so he decided to took his chances in the dark, ominous crater.  
Upon walking only a few steps he was confronted by a large green man. "What the hella?!?" Zell jumped back and got into a fighting stance. Zell noticed that the green man didn't make a single move or gesture in return, so he relaxed.   
"I believe you have been brought here from a place called World Of Final Fantasy 8."  
"Huh? I dunno, I just call it Earth half the time..."  
"My mistake. You are here against your will, are you not?"  
"Well, kinda. I have class in about 5 minutes, and today we're learning about killing sorceresses, so it's kinda important that I be there to hear about it..."  
"We are sorry."  
"Who's we?"  
"We are the Nameks. I am one of them, called Picollo."  
"Is this place, like full of green people?"  
"Not really. Most of my people have been killed by the wicked Vegeta, prince of Saiyans. He was the one who brought you here."  
"O...kay...why?"  
"He is gathering people from all over the universe and is using them to battle with and gain energy."  
"Right, so how do I get the hella out of here!?!?"  
"He is currently in possession of an orb we call a Dragonball...."  
"Is that like the thing you are holding?"  
"Yes."  
"Right."  
"If one unites all seven Dragonballs, then that person can call forth the Dragon, who will grant that person one wish."  
"Really? Just one?"  
"Erm...yeah, one wish, that's it..."  
"Isn't it usually three for this sort of thing?"  
"No! One wish!!!"  
"Right..."  
"Vegeta has two of the seven. I have one. The other four are being held by friends of mine called Goku, Bulma, Krillen and Gohan. Take this Dragonball, prove yourself worthy to the other four, then take them and battle against Vegeta, to gain all seven."  
"Sounds easy enough..."  
"Don't be fooled. This will be the toughest test of your life, which will force you to use every one of your limits in order to even stand a chance of survi..."  
"Right, got it."  
"I'm not sure you're getting this..."  
"Trust me. I'll get all seven of these things, then I'll make my wish and go home."  
"Fine, here, take this." Picollo gave Zell Dragonball-xxxx. "Bulma is hiding in a place to the south of here. Take this golden chocobo to help you."  
"Oh great, the south?"  
"That way." Picollo pointed behind Zell towards the snow fields.  
"Oh hellz no!!!!"  
"Hurry! Go!"  
"Alright, fine." Taking his Dragonball, Zell mounted upon the golden chocobo which had just appeared. He looked, seeing that Picollo had completely disappeared. "Great, gotta fetch 'em all..."  
  
Meanwhile, Quistis was sitting on top of her desk waiting for her class to show up. Squall had his usual sit in the back, alongside Seifer, who had insisted on making a nuisance of himself. Squall was whinging about why he had to learn this stuff, seeing as he'd beaten the life out of three sorceresses already, and that Quistis wasn't there for any of them... Selphie was sitting next to Irvine, who was making eyes at her every time he thought she was looking in his general direction. Quistis took a look at her watch. "Funny, Zell is a minute late. It's not like him to not run here and be early whilst thinking that he's late. Irvine? Did you remember to sneak into his room and set his watch back five minutes!?"  
"Yeah!" Irvine shouted in reply, before going back to making passes at Selphie.  
"Right...why is he late then?"  
  
Zell was having problems controlling his chocobo. It was going left, it was going right. Seeing as how he was flying it didn't matter too much, but it was still quite unnerving..."WARK!!!"  
"I don't know how Squall does this stuff...UGH!"  
"WARK WARK WARK!"  
"What!? Fine, I'm just going to let go of your neck and see if you can drive any better!!!"  
"Wark...." For some reason, when Zell ceased to strangle to bird, it became less erratic. It's head stopped swinging from side to side too.  
Zell finally approached Icicle Town. Setting down in the snow, he felt the biting cold against his skin, and without thinking, headed for the nearest shelter. This happened to be the Icicle Inn. "Hey, you can't be running up those there stairs without paying now Mister!" Zell searched his pockets with his one free hand and found 5 gil. Throwing at the annoyed man at the desk he darted upstairs. Reaching the top floor, he dived in front of an open fire place and began rubbing his body up and down to get warm again.   
"Damn...wish I had that fleece...so what if it's pink..?"  
"What fleece?"  
"HUH!?!?!" Zell looked to the side of him, into the darkness and he saw the outline of a person who was in a corner. As she stepped out of the shadow, Zell saw a beautiful young woman, with green hair which was tied back.  
"So, like what fleece were you talking about?"  
"Ermm, nothing...who are you!?!?"  
"Oh, sorry. Like, hi! I'm Bulma! You don't look like you're from around here."  
"I'm not. Hey! Bulma!?!?"  
"Like yeah!"  
"You got a Dragonball!?"  
"Uh-huh."  
"Can I have it?"  
"Na-uh. No way. Goku told me to only give this to like, a warrior or something. But I said that anyone who wanted it could just TAKE it off of me and leave and it's not like there's anything I can do about it really. I mean, Krillen, he's staying with these miner guys, he could fend for himself if someone wanted the Dragonball, but I can't, like ya know? And...hey!!! That's my Dragonball!!! Where are you going!? GIVE ME BACK MY DRAGONBALL!!!!!!!!" Zell ran down the stairs at the speed of light, nearly tripping over the steps. Running out of the Icicle Inn with two Dragonballs under his arm he got to his chocobo.   
"Right Choco, one down, three more to find. She said something about miners. Do you have any ideas?"  
"Wark wark!!!" The chocobo jumped up and down and motioned for Zell to get its back.  
"Uh, alright fine, but no more high flying! I don't wanna fall off or nothing!"  
"Waaarrk...."  
  
"Squall, you take over this class, I'm going to find Zell! He's an hour late!" Squall slowly stood up and walked to the front of the classroom. "Okay, just teach them about sorceress powers and stuff. Everything you need to know is in the book."   
"Right, got ya..." Squall waited until Quistis had ran out of the classroom and then looked at the Instructor's Guidebook. He swiftly threw it several metres into the dustbin, before sitting down in the instructor's chair and putting his feet up.  
  
"WARK!"  
"You're right Choco, I see 'em!" Choco swooped down and landed just outside the excavation village. Zell climbed off and put the Dragonballs XXXX and XXXXXXX on the ground next to the chocobo. "I'm leaving these in your care Choco! Guard them with your life, understand?"  
"Wark!!!"  
"Good. If anyone comes to try and get them, pretend they're your eggs or something."  
"Wark wark!"   
Zell left the chocobo behind and walked into the village. He stood in awe, looking at the plane which had crashed down for a minute, before he heard someone shout to the foreman. Knowing that these miners knew of his presence he tried to act as civil as possible. "Where the hell is Krillen!?"  
"Uh...who?"  
"I don't know who he is, I've just got a name to go by. Krillen. He's got some big yellow ball with him."  
"Don't know nothing about no-one like that. We could try and excavate something for ya."  
"I don't want...."  
"Just place my men using the 'X' button..."  
"I said...."  
"Press 'X' again to use dynamite...."  
"Huh?"  
"My men will try and get a fix on where it is..."  
"C'mon man!"  
"Match up the lines-of-sight and press 'X' again..."  
"'X'? What 'X'?  
"Then we'll dig overnight for ya!"  
"Ugh...."  
Zell went back to Choco after the he had pressed 'X' several times and decided on a place he wanted them to dig. "Geez, I had to pay 500 gil for that! I didn't even want them to!"  
"Wark...."  
"They told me to go back in the morning and check in the box."  
"Wark!"  
"Yeah, you're right. I guess I should just relax then." Cuddling up to each other for warmth, Choco and Zell feel asleep, the Dragonballs nestled safety under them.   
In the morning, Zell walked back to the village. Seeing that no-one was around he went straight to the box. Upon opening it, he received something called a Lunar Harp, a Key to Sector 1, 5 potions, an ether and Dragonball-XXX. "Hey wait! Dragonball-XXX!!?!?!?" Looking deeper into the box he saw a strange, bald little man roped up at the bottom.   
"You better give me that back!"  
"You must be Krillen..."  
"Yeah! Give that Dragonball back to me now!!!"  
"Naw, I don't think so...I need this to get home and to wish for something."  
"Grrr...you better let me go or else!!!"  
"Listen Krillen, if you like don't shut ya whining and tell me where the other two of these things are, I'm going to shut the lid and throw you down a hole!"  
"Okay okay! Gohan is in hiding in a place called Midgar. I think he's staying in some kind of Church/Bar with some lady."  
"Good. Now you can wait until the miners get up to be untied. See ya later!" Zell ran off out of the village in a hurry, with the Dragonball-XXX under his left arm.   
Getting back to Choco, he realised that he now couldn't carry all the Dragonballs at once without the risk of dropping one. "Gee, what can I do? I got it!!"  
"Wark!?" Zell picked up the three Dragonballs and stumbled with them to behind the chocobo, who was busy munching on the green grass.  
"Choco, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. Given the circumstances, I don't know how, but here goes...."  
"Wark!? ............WAAAAAAARRKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Right Zell!!! You'd better get your ass out of bed this instant or I'm going to knock your teeth in!!!" Quistis screamed as she tore the door of his dorm off of its hinges. "Huh? He's not in bed?" Quistis searched throughout his dorm, finding only an opened tub of 'Gentleman's Gel: "For extra-strong hold"', an empty cereal packet and a sink full of unwashed cereal bowls and spoons. In his garbage she saw pizza boxes and some things that she wished she hadn't saw. Leaving his dorm she headed over to the cafeteria, his usual haunt. Not finding him there either left her more worried than she was angry. She immediately began to run towards the infirmary, in case something had happened to him.  
  
Choco had flown across the ocean, all the way to the outskirts of Midgar. The chocobo would have gotten there faster had it not had...some discomfort in the colon region... "Waaaark..."  
"Awww, are you in pain Choco?"  
"WARK!!!!"  
"I know, I know, your feet hurt, but we only have to get this Dragonball, find that Gookie, guy, then once I've gotten to wherever that Veggie person is, you can go!"  
"Waaaark...!" Zell got off the golden bird and made his way over to a gate.   
"Oh great, just my luck...huh? Oh yeah! I got that key, I wonder if it works!" Zell fumbled about with the key, but it didn't seem to turn. "Damn! This key is for Sector 1, and this gate says Sector 6! Damn damn damn! Now I've gotta go all the way around...unless..." Zell walked back five paces and turned to face the gate. "Time for the machine to get into action..." Zell ran at the gate at full pace and swung at it with his Erghiez, sending the gate flying, bolts and all. "Alright! Fighting Machine, oh hella yeah!!!"  
Walking inside he saw, what could only be described as, a ghetto. "Ain't no way that guy's gonna be in here!" He continued on regardless, getting funny looks from all who passed him by. A few remarks about his hair were returned with a "Same to you pal!" and some other unsavouries that he had picked up due to that pink sweater. He carried on until he saw a tall building, which kinda looked like it COULD be a church, but from the seemingly party sounds that were coming from within, Zell wasn't sure. "Still, can't hurt to give it a shot, after all, this is the only real churchy place around here!" Still, it couldn't hurt Zell to give it a shot, for that building was the only building that could possibly be a church!  
As he entered the church he was greeted by a chorus of "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" from the patrons. Looking down to the other end, he saw some kid who was downing yards of ale like it was going out of style. Zell approached the bar with caution, as he was only 17 after all. But this kid barely looked 7, so Zell eased up. A woman with large, erm, pint glasses came up to him. "Hi! You new here! I ain't seen you before!"  
"WHOA! HOLY GUZUNGAS!!! ARE THOSE THINGS REAL!?!?!?"  
"Yup, brought in from the east." The barmaid pointed to the very impressive stuffed beavers that were on a mantelpiece behind her.  
"Damn, I didn't think that that kinda stuff was legal!"  
"Yup, everything's legal around here sailor."  
"No, it's Zell."  
"Oh, sorry, it was just the way the little name which was embroidered onto your shirt..."  
"Oh yeah..."  
"Anyway, I'm Tifa!"  
"Yeah, hi."  
"So, what can I do for you?"  
"I'm looking for some guy called Gohan."  
"Really? That's him over there!" Tifa pointed out the kid who was staggering about all over the table, while now drinking hard liquor from some shoe that he had found.  
"It can't be! That guy has a Dragonball!?"  
"Oh, you must be the warrior prophesised to collect them all."  
"Proph... what!?"  
"Oh, it was the Nameks. Every since all these new people came to our planet they've been on about some superman with blonde hair..."  
"................"  
"I don't know about that stuff, but that's the guy, Gohan."  
Zell walked over to the table which Gohan was dancing on and tugged on the short guys trouser leg. "Hey! Hey kid! Hey, are you Gohan!?" Zell was having trouble shouting over the crowd, who continued to spur on the alcoholic youngster. "GOHAN!?!?" The boy turned and looked at Zell.  
"Yeah...*hic*...what's it to ya!?"  
"I'm here for your Dragonball. Hand it over."  
"The wha? Oh right!!! *hic*" Gohan got down from off the table, much to the crowd's dismay. Barely able to walk, he struggled up to a seat at the bar. "I'll tell you what *hic* goldilocks, you may look strong, and have blonde hair, but that doesn't mean that you be a Super-Saiyan."  
"Huh? A what!? Kid, just gimme the Dragonball!!!"  
"What's tha *hic* rush!? Listen, I don't know whether you're the chosen one or not, that's for my pops to tell ya, but if you're not a Super-Saiyan, Vegeta's gonna *hic* whoop yo white ass!" Tifa quickly walked out from behind the bar and slapped Gohan over the head.   
"I don't want to hear you using that sorta language again!!!"  
"Sorry Aunt Tifa..." Gohan cowered in his chair, and Tifa turned to Zell.  
"I'm sorry for that Mr. Zell. Gohan's been here for me ever since my husband left to fight Vegeta."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, he was blonde too, like you, and the Nameks mistook him for a Super-Saiyan. He went without the Dragonballs and he was sent to the next dimension."  
"*Gulp* Uh....huh!?"  
"Yeah, so they set a challenge for anyone claiming to be the chosen one. You must collect the five Dragonballs not held by Vegeta then go and defeat him. With them by your side he'll respect you as a warrior and give you a fair fight."  
"Uh-huh, sounds great...." Gohan quickly spoke up.  
"If you want my Dragonball you must *hic* prove to me that you are braver than any other man in this universe. *hic* If you have enough heart, then, *hic* and only then, will you have enough cou*hic*rage to defeat Vegeta."  
"Name you're challenge kid. I'm braver than anybody!!!"   
A patron walked up to the bar. "Hey Tifa, get me an X-ATM092 will ya!!??"  
"WWWHHHHHHEEEEEERRRRREEEEEEE!!!!???? OH GOD KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!" The patron looked shocked at Zell's outburst, and was stunned to see him hiding and shivering underneath his stool.   
"Uh, Mr Zell? That's the name of a drink!" Tifa happily pointed out. Zell came out from under his seat and sat down again. Taking a napkin from the bar he wiped the sweat from off of his brow.   
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me...." Gohan glared at him...  
"Yeah, *hic* right! Anyway, the test. To prove you are braver than any man, you must eat 5 creme cakes."  
"HUH!? Is that it!?"  
"Nope. These cream cakes are made by The Great Tifa Lockhart, *hic* the best chef in the world! One of her cream cakes contains enough cholesterol to kill a baby! *hic* I can only eat a small slice and even that gives me slight stomach pains! *hic*"  
"Ugh, really!?" Tifa came over towards Zell, bringing with her a tray which had five cream cakes. Each one glimmered in sugary goodness, and you could see it bulging at the sides, it's cream so tightly packed inside that it could erupt with the force of a mega-ton nuclear warhead!  
"Now *hic* 'Chosen one', you must eat these to prove me that you are brave enough to defend this *hic* Dragonball! This will be more of a test than you have ever...HEY!"  
"Mpphat %^snaifff!!!!" Zell was currently in the process on munching down on the atomic cream cakes with more fury than usually did. "Kllaaagghfde!!!" He was lacking somewhat in the manners department though....  
After successfully scarfing down all 5 cream cakes, he looked up at Gohan and Tifa, who were staring in amazement. "Oooh, according to the ingredients that I put in these things, you should be dead by now!!!"  
"Here! *hic* Take the stinking Dragonball and get out of here before you explode and kill us all!"  
"Ugh....happy...to...do....so....Goh...." He fell right on the floor from off of his stool. "Must...find...Goku...blahz..."  
"Oh...*hic*, if you want my dad, he's at a place that is just east of here, called Kalm. *hic* He hangs about in the town square usually."  
"Thanks. Err...do you have bathroom facilities?"  
"NOOOOO!!!!!" Tifa quickly spoke up at the thought of Zell even touching one of her perfectly clean bowls. Zell mumbled something, picked up Dragonball-XXXXXX and left towards his Chocobo, to try and find Goku.  
  
"Oh Miss Library-Girl-With-Pigtail!?!?" Quistis walked into the library, to be greeted by two of the library committee. "Hey, where's Library-Girl-With-Pigtail?"   
"It's not her shift." They both spoke up in unison.  
"IT'S NEVER HER DAMN SHIFT!!!" Quistis started running all around the library in search of the missing library committee member. "Lousy...idiot...girl, never around when you need information from her..." Suddenly she stopped, and began thinking about the reasons why she's never there. "Hey, last time I looked for her she wasn't here, she was at the Balamb Hotel, but she wasn't there either. God where the hell does she go!?!?" As she turned to run out of the library in search of Zell, she bumped into Ms. Library-Girl-With-Pigtail. "Hey! Where'd you appear from!?"  
"The same place as always. I'm never here, I'm usually in the library book cupboard with Conceited SeeD."  
"How dare you!?"  
"We talk! He was the one that convinced me to go for it with Zell."  
"Wow, he's not so conceited then?"  
"No, it's just his name. He's really sweet! He said that whatever happens with Zell and me, he'll be there for me as a friend."  
"I wish I had a man that understanding..." Both girls began to blush violently and stare into space as they started to think about what a wonderful, caring guy Conceited SeeD is. It was Library-Girl-With-Pigtail that broke the silence first though.  
"So, like what are you doing here Instructor Trepe?"  
"Oh, I'm looking for Zell. He hasn't been to class today. I've been looking for him. I left Squall in charge upstairs."  
The students sat in perfect silence while Squall simply lay there in Quistis' chair. Most were wondering what was going on, but some were afraid to even cough, due to the risk of getting Kenzokuken. "That's Renzokuken you asshole!!! For Hyne's sake, how did you even complete this game!?" I'm sorry...  
"I haven't seen Zell since this morning when we were doing laundry together." Library-Girl-With-Pigtail gave a little giggle as she remembered those moments. "He was so sweet. He wore that sweater for me, but he had gotten it wet!"  
"Yeah, shame, bummer. Where'd he go after that!?"  
"He said something about going to train..."  
"Didn't he get the memo on how the monsters were hibernating?"  
"I guess not..."  
"I'll go look for him in there. Just in case!"  
"I'll come too. He's probably in there, thinking of a way to make it up to for me because of what he did what that sweater..."  
  
Zell and Choco raced across the open plains in search or Kalm. Luckily the gold chocobo had some clue of where he was going, as Zell certainly didn't. Zell pointed out a small town that they were passing. It's blue flooring and bright lights certainly didn't look calm, but Zell had always been taught that names were deceiving. Like Hyperion being sunny and bright, as opposed to Seifer's cold, boring gunblade. It certainly felt cold when it was beating up on him...  
"Right, I guess this is the place. You don't mind that I leave this Dragonball...erm...with you others do you?"  
"WWWAAAAAAAARRRRRKKKKKK!!!!!!" Had Zell been in front of Choco, he would have had his eyes pecked out. Zell...disposed of the Dragonball and went into Kalm. No-one could be seen anywhere, except for some old man who was leaning against the wall of one of the houses. Zell walked over to the old man and quickly set out his stall.  
"Where's the Dragonball Goku? Give it to me now!!!" The old man looked terrified at the blonde guy who was standing in front of him in a battle stance.  
"I...dunno...what you're talking about!!!"  
"Give it up! I don't want any hassle, just give it to me!" Zell was surprised by a strong hand which had now gripped onto his shoulder. Turning around as quick as a spinning top, he was confronted by a big, bulky man dressed in red and purple.  
"You must be Zell. I'm Goku."  
"Errr..yeah...that kinda makes more sense...I guess..." Zell turned back round to the old man who was trembling in his boots. "Sorry about that. Really sorry!" The man just nodded and walked away. When he was about 5 metres away from Zell he broke into a slow sprint, for slow was his top speed. Zell gave a short laugh before getting a more serious look on his face as he turned back to Goku. "The Dragonball."  
"Of course."  
"I already have four."  
"Really? I guess that's the reason that you have come to me then. If you want Dragonball-X, then you'll have to earn it."  
"Ugh, I'm kinda full, so do you mind if we skip any eating contests?"  
"Damn....okay, I'll think of something else then. You can wait in the inn until I arrive. You might want to bring your chocobo into town to avoid it getting ravaged by wolves." Zell nodded and left to find Choco. Upon finding him, he rode the golden chocobo back into Kalm, and tied it up outside of the inn.   
Once Zell was inside the inn, he lay upstairs on the bed and waited for Goku. He wasn't left waiting long, for after only a few minutes Goku entered. "Okay, you're here. Now, how do I get the Dragonball?"  
"Hold up there. Getting the Dragonball isn't easy ya know?"  
"Sheesh, look, what do you want me to do? I'll do it!! I'll beat that Vegeta and make my wish and go home! Just give me that damn Dragonball!!!!"  
"Calm down Zell. You may be blonde, but that..."  
"Doesn't make me a Super-Saiyan. Right. What is a Super-Saiyan anyway!?"  
"Vegeta is a Super-Saiyan, and so was I, until he stole my powers..."  
"Really, how did he do that!?"  
"He...he...stole my bottle of B-Blonde hair dye!!!" Goku burst into tears.  
"Wha!? Hair dye!?"  
"*sniffle* Yeah, to be a Super-Saiyan you have to be blonde. I'm not blonde, but I still had my bottle of dye to use the power just in case I needed them..."  
"You're kidding me right!?"  
"No, Vegeta isn't blonde either, but he has the ability to change it so."  
"Right, well, my hair is natural, so..."  
"That's why you are the Chosen One!"  
"Because..."  
"Of your hair, yes! It's a sign of a Super-Saiyan."  
"This doesn't make any sense to me, so just tell me what the challenge is."  
"Alright, fine. You want the Dragonball, there is a test. You had your dexterity and patience were tested with Bulma. Your intelligence was tested with Krillen. Your strength was tested while getting into Midgar. Your bravery was tested with Gohan. Your concentration was tested with Tifa's...ermm...chest. Your vitality was tested with her cream cakes. Your ingenuity was tested in how you dealt with the Dragonballs in terms of carrying them. You passed all of these tests with flying colours. Especially the ingenuity one..."  
"Have you quite finished?"  
"Your final test is this: Take this Dragonball to the Northern Crater and defeat Vegeta. You must win. Our hopes are pinned on you now Zell. If you fail, Vegeta will have all 7 Dragonballs and will rule the universe, including your world, and ours."  
"Whoa...heavy..."  
"Sleep now. Rest and gather your strength. You will be fighting Vegeta tomorrow."  
"Right, yeah, about that, listen, why don't you fight him?"  
"I have the power to be a Super-Saiyan, but alas, he stole my B-Blonde hair dye. I cannot assume full power, therefore I would fail without even testing him. It's down to you Zell, to save the universe."  
"Oh crap..."  
In the morning he felt revitalised after the agony of the cream cakes. His deposit would not be returned to him due to the disrepair of the lavatory. This kinda put a whole dampener on the whole having to 'save the world or get everyone killed' high he was on. Saddling back up on Choco with Dragonball-X under his arm, he took a deep breath and readied to face his destiny. "Come on Choco, let's go and get it on!!!" Choco took large strides and eventually took off up to the north. The two must have been going for nearly an hour when Choco stopped to have a rest in a field on the northern continent. "What's up Choco?"  
"Waaaark..."  
"You tired?"  
"Wark, waaaarrrk, wark."  
"You must be gaining weight Choco, you've grown a hump!"  
"WARK!"  
"Alright fine, you don't look fat! Why are you looking at the Dragonball?"  
"WAAARK!"  
The two set off at a great pace again. Zell had a determined look in his eye as they rushed towards the Northern Crater. As they approached the huge incision in the land, Zell's eyes widened as he saw huge beams of energy being fired up into the sky. "I guess Vegeta must be a little angry at something!"   
"Wark!"   
"Take us down inside. Something tells me that he's like going to come after us rather than us having to go to him."  
"Wark?" Choco set down on a life-forsaken plain which was made of gravel. It felt cold and it was dark. Zell dismounted Choco uneasily and held the Dragonball by his side.   
It didn't take long for Vegeta to arrive. He flew in and landed just 10 metres away from Zell. "Ahh, another blonde who has come to go to the next dimension?"  
"That's righ...hey! What's that supposed to mean!?"  
"It means that you don't stand a chance against me! Kakirate and the others have you fooled if you think otherwise!"  
"Hey, didn't YOU bring me here in the first place!?"  
"Ummm...well that's kind of a plothole see..." (Author casts spell over everybody including reader to forget that little fact)  
"Who's Kakirate? You mean Goku?"  
"Precisely. The Saiyan warrior who believes he is stronger than I."  
"....................."  
"You have only one Dragonball?"  
"Not really, I have four others."  
"Really!? So that means that I have all seven right here in my grasp."  
"You have to get through me to get them!"  
"Oh shut up you fool! You don't have a prayer!" Vegeta raised his hand and fired a beam of energy straight at Choco, making the poor bird extra-crispy. Through the charred remains, the four Dragonballs fell out of it's chest and landed in the gravel.  
"Oh crap..." Vegeta laughed out loud.  
"Hahaha! So that was where you were hiding them!? Fool! Now I will simply take them from you!"  
"Bring it on!"  
Vegeta flew at Zell at great pace but was greeted with a face full of fist. Reeling back Vegeta stood up. "You are stronger than I give you credit for! But it is not enough!" Vegeta aimed a kick at Zell's head, but that was blocked also. Zell held Vegeta's leg up in the air, then used it to push Vegeta to the floor.   
"Was that all you've got!? I've beaten punks like you for the past 5 years!"  
"Heh heh heh, don't get cocky. It's looks as tough I may have to stop playing games!" Vegeta reached into his pocket and pulled out a small tube of 'B-Blonde Hair Dye: For Use By Super-Saiyan Wannabes' "Let's see whether you can handle this power!" Vegeta squeezed the tube and massaged the dye into his hair. "YyyeeeeaaaaAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Vegeta rose into the air and began to glow a bright yellow. " AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!!" Vegeta's hair turned yellow and he swooped down in front of Zell. "Uuugghh, this stuff hurts! I don't know what Kakirate sees in this...grrr...BUT YOU WILL NOW SEE MY FULL POWER!"   
"Try it!" Zell stood firm as Vegeta flew right passed him. "HUH!?"  
"Heh heh heh!" Vegeta struck Zell with a kick as he turned which sent him on his back across the gravel.   
"Ugh...how...that speed..."  
"You're dealing with a Super-Saiyan now kid!" Zell got up to his feet slowly and Vegeta ran towards him. Zell readied a punch but as he threw it Vegeta teleported behind him and connected with a chop to the back of the neck.  
"Arrrgghh!!!" Zell fell to his knees in pain. Vegeta stood over him, laughing from deep within his body.   
"Hahahahahahahaha!!! You're nothing!!!"  
"Ugh, I've not even begun yet..."  
"Let's see if you can stand my heat then eh?" Vegeta's hand rose and blasted Zell in the chest. The shockwave sent Zell sprawling onto his back. "Give up yet?"  
"Ugh....no.....never..."  
"Hehe, you've got guts kid. But now it's time for you to be sent into the next dimension!" Vegeta's hand rose again and energy became concentrated inside his fist. Zell stood up, still groggy from the previous hits. Vegeta let fly with his most awesome power.   
"NO!" Zell's left hand raised and the beam of pure dark energy was absorbed into it. "I am not some puny kid. I am not some chicken-wuss. I am NOT Squall's lackey! I am The Chosen One!"  
"I don't know what you think you are kid! But I am gonna show you exactly what I am made of! Uuuaaaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!!" Vegeta dove at Zell, thrusting forward with left hands and right hands, all of which were blocked by Zell, who barely even broke into a sweat. Vegeta gave that up and proceeded to aim lightning-quick kicks to Zell's head, which moved to the left and to the right to dodge them. With a single punch he sent Vegeta across the gravel. His left hand rose up and the beam of energy which was sent at him minutes previous was rebuilding, this time to be aimed at Vegeta.   
"Take this Vegeta! I'm going to get my Dragonballs if it costs you your life!!!"  
".........................."  
  
*WILL ZELL DEFEAT VEGETA? WILL VEGETA FIND ENOUGH STRENGTH TO DEFEND HIMSELF? WILL GOKU GET HIS HAIR DYE BACK? WILL SQUALL GET OFF HIS ASS AND DO SOME REAL INSTRUCTOR WORK? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT DREAM OF DRAGONBALL ZELL!*  
  
"Hella what!? What the hell is going on!?!?!?"  
"Didn't you know Zell? This is all in your subconscious."  
"HELLA NO!!!"  
"Yup, you don't have any power really. You aren't any chosen one. You ARE Squall's lackey and YOU know it! You aren't this cool really! And you know Tifa? THEY WERE FALSE TOO!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
"Zell!?!? Wake up Zell!"  
"Huh? Wha!? Quistis?! What're you doing here!?" Someone pushed ahead before Quistis could even speak.  
"Zelly-poo!!!"  
"Library-Girl-With-Pigtail! You're here too!?"  
"Yup Zelly, I'm so sorry that I shouted at you earlier Zell! I don't mind about the sweater."  
"What? That it's butt-ugly?"  
"HELLZ NO! I meant that it got wet, but if that's how you really feel!!!" Library-Girl-With-Pigtail ran out of the secret area of the training center bawling her eyes out.   
"What did I say?" Quistis spoke up, after being startled by the actions of Library-Girl-With-Pigtail.  
"Zell, you have missed today's class! Why are you even here!?"  
"Oh, I must have fallen asleep..."  
"I had to leave my class with Squall so I could come and find you!"  
"Okay, now listen closely class, when a sorceress has your girlfriend captive, what do you do?" One brave student raised his hand...  
"Fight with magic which only affects one person and go hand-to-hand?"  
"NO YOU IDIOT! There's a chance here to kill two birds with one stone, literally! All you need is GF Brothers...."  
  
Dragon Dragon,  
Rock the Dragon,  
Dragonball Zell!!!!  
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Okay, this started out as a simple comedic, but it turned out to be the biggest thing I ever wrote. I apologised earlier for this. The Matrix bit was due to the fact that I was listening to it while writing this. A certain scene in the church/bar is similar to something else I have read previously, I'm sure it'll ring bells with anyone who have read the same fic. I only realised once I had completed he whole Gohan bit, and I was too tired to make the changes. If you don't realise it, then, hey, good for me! Maybe my sequel to this should be 'Gundam Ward' or something...Anyone wanting to talk on AIM then I'm usually on about 6pm GMT. 


	2. Default Chapter

The Dragonball Zell Dilemma-  
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Those who have not read my fic Dragonball Zell, which is a FF8 fic, then you would not really understand what is going on. Despite being sort of a sequel, this contains no FF element, therefore according to my judgement had no right to be a FF8 fic.   
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Piccolo: *sits reading fanfiction.net*  
Nail: *sits wondering whether Frieza 'killed him' or not*  
Piccolo: Hey!! Some kid just completely screwed up a perfectly GREAT FIC!  
(Author: yeah...hehe...well, Mr. Piccolo's opinions are HIS own afterall! *laughs nervously*)  
Nail: Oh...really?  
Piccolo: He had only one Namek in there and it wasn't either Dende or I!!!  
Nail: Wow....so who was it?  
Piccolo: Huh?  
Nail: The Namek?  
Piccolo: Umm...well, due to an error of course...it was...*cough* you...  
Nail: WOW! REALLY!? EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS FIC!!!  
(Author: Umm...Mr. Nail's view is also independent...)  
Piccolo: Hmmm...I wonder...if the author is just some kid who has saw like only a few weeks worth of episodes in which a didn't feature all that much in because the guys who made Dragonball Z forgot that I existed during that whole Namek Saga...  
Nail: Nope. Can't be...I mean...hmmm...I think it's possible.   
Piccolo: How else would he think you're alive?  
Nail: Fair poi...hey! Did YOU see Frieza kill me!?!? Did you!!??  
Piccolo: I don't think anybody did...  
Nail: Precisely. Just because *my body* died, doesn't mean that I am dead! I'm alive dammit!!!  
Piccolo: ......................  
Nail: You don't believe me? We'll get Dende in here! DEEEENNDEEEEE!!!!!  
*Enter Dende*  
Dende: Yes Mr. Nail?  
Nail: I'm alive right?  
Dende: Umm...what's brought all this on!?  
Nail: Just answer the question!!  
Piccolo: We were reading Dragonball Zell on ff.net and apparently the author knows him ahead of me.  
Dende: Dragonball Zell? Hehe, that fic SUCKS big time!!!  
(Author: Again, Mr. Dende's opinions are his ow...HEY!!!! RAGE!! *kills Dende*)  
Nail: Huh? Where'd Dende go? Damn, now I'll never find out if I'm alive.  
Piccolo: I don't know, pinch yourself or something.  
Nail: Isn't that to see if you're awake?  
Piccolo: *shrugs*  
Nail: Will you pinch me on the arm then?  
Piccolo: Umm...I can't, I'm floating right now.  
Nail: Fine, I'll get someone else to do it! *sees Vegeta flying past and calls him over*  
Vegeta: Well well, what is with you two gentleman?  
Nail: Could you do me a favour and pinch me on the arm to see if I'm alive?  
Vegeta: How about seeing if I can send you to the Next Dimension? If you're dead I can't do that can I?  
Nail: Umm....could you just stick to the arm pinching?  
Vegeta: *Grabs Nail by arm and prepares to pinch* So what has put this little doubt into your mind Namek?  
Nail: Oh it's nothing. Piccolo and I were talking about Dragonball Zell, and...  
Vegeta: *tears Piccolo's/Nail's arm off in rage*  
Nail: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! DAMN!!! DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT!?!? *regrows arm* Ooooh, now it's all slimy! Thanks Vegeta!!!  
Vegeta: *is crouched on floor* Don't...say...that....name....  
Nail: Huh? Dragonball Zell?  
Vegeta: Ugh!! Be quiet fool!!! Damn that blonde headed punk and that damn skillful, witty and ingenious writer who brought him to me........  
(Author: *_*)  
Vegeta: Huh? My fighting strength!!?? It's going up into the billions!!!! Wow!! I feel like I can conquer the universe!!!  
Nail: *turns to Piccolo* I think we should have complimented the author more....  
Piccolo: Quite possibly... *watchs Vegeta destroying everything, including this computer*  
Nail: At least we know I'm alive, you know, with the arm thing...  
Piccolo: *sees Vegeta coming at them with an energy beam* I'm not sure that that's much solace....  
  
THE END  
  
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Right, no more sequels, ever. I hate following up work. I only did this because I felt annoyed that I didn't check through the last time and I put in Nail ahead of Piccolo. Lousy Cartoon Network...*clenches fist* R+R please? I appreciate every one I get! =) 


End file.
